Bizarrenews!
Jul. 6th, 2013 01:24 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
nentariSpam Headlines
(with comments by Lewis, editor of the Bizarrenews newsletter - all these spam mail headlines were found in his inbox)
Not a dating service, a SHAGGING service!
[Just in case anybody was confused.]
Greetings, white man! :)
[I never did figure out what this spam was for because I was afraid to click on the link to find out.]
I Hate You Now!
[It turns out my current mortgage qualifies for a 3 percent lower rate!]
Et tu, brute! - You too, Brutus! Even you have betrayed me!
[This linked to a page advertising generic pharmaceuticals. Explain that to me.]
PLEASE HELP THE ORPHANAGE
[This was from a Zambian living in Dubai who had a large sum of money trapped in a bank account that he needed help moving to a U.S. bank. All he needed was my bank account number.]
Top Secret e-book on how to seduce a girl
[It can't be that secret if everybody and his brother has gotten a copy of the email.]
Please dont ignore me......come see my nipples.
[This was for a webcam, as you might imagine.]
Hello bro --- are you Impotent?
[Great way to start a conversation. Once again... the subject is pretty self-explanatory.]
The mighty cucumber lives again!
[This was for a penile anti-sensitivity cream.]
Slap it on her face.
[If you guessed penis enlargement cream you're right again!]
Like being 18 again (without the zits)
[This was for 'Advanced Penis Development.' Not sure if that means enlargement or longevity.]
Hot Mmomy fucks stranregs
[I'm not sure what 'stranregs' are, but apparently they like to subscribe to online dating services.]
I'd like to meet the man who invented sex and see what he's working on now.
[Answer: Erection pills.]
Are you a 2 pump chump? Go all night and drive her crazy!
[I've never really counted, but I know it's more than 2.]
What's your pleasure, squire?
[If you're thinking this is some kind of porn or penis enhancement, you're wrong! It's discount pharmaceuticals. Okay, it's mostly Viagra and Cialis.]
Make Your Bed a "Bed-er" SEX Place to Sleep
[Somebody actually gets paid to sit around and think this stuff up.]
Believe it or not Glass Dildos can change your sex life!
[Among the many qualitites touted in the ad copy are "Hypoallergenic and Dishwasher Safe."]
(with comments by Lewis, editor of the Bizarrenews newsletter - all these spam mail headlines were found in his inbox)
[Just in case anybody was confused.]
[I never did figure out what this spam was for because I was afraid to click on the link to find out.]
[It turns out my current mortgage qualifies for a 3 percent lower rate!]
[This linked to a page advertising generic pharmaceuticals. Explain that to me.]
[This was from a Zambian living in Dubai who had a large sum of money trapped in a bank account that he needed help moving to a U.S. bank. All he needed was my bank account number.]
[It can't be that secret if everybody and his brother has gotten a copy of the email.]
[This was for a webcam, as you might imagine.]
[Great way to start a conversation. Once again... the subject is pretty self-explanatory.]
[This was for a penile anti-sensitivity cream.]
[If you guessed penis enlargement cream you're right again!]
[This was for 'Advanced Penis Development.' Not sure if that means enlargement or longevity.]
[I'm not sure what 'stranregs' are, but apparently they like to subscribe to online dating services.]
[Answer: Erection pills.]
[I've never really counted, but I know it's more than 2.]
[If you're thinking this is some kind of porn or penis enhancement, you're wrong! It's discount pharmaceuticals. Okay, it's mostly Viagra and Cialis.]
[Somebody actually gets paid to sit around and think this stuff up.]
[Among the many qualitites touted in the ad copy are "Hypoallergenic and Dishwasher Safe."]
no subject
Date: 2013-11-30 05:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-11-30 09:36 am (UTC)