FIC: The Rutan Relics - Chapter 2
May. 18th, 2009 10:30 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
nentariTitle: The Rutan Relics - Chapter 2
Author: Me
Beta-Reader:alouzon
Fandom: Doctor Who/M*A*S*H
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 3279
Disclaimer: Doctor Who and all its characters belong to the BBC; M*A*S*H and all its characters belong to Twentieth Century Fox. I own nothing - not even the Fourteenth Doctor.
Summary: The Doctor returns to a place he has visited in the past to stop some old enemies from recovering something that is best left forgotten.
Warning: Spoilers for Abyssinia, Henry/Welcome to Korea.
Chapter 2
The moment they stepped out of the C.O.'s office and into the space reserved for the clerk, the composure of the two "UNIT officers" changed. Jamie immediately loosened his collar, abandoning the rigid pose he had adopted during the conversation with the two Majors, while the Doctor stretched, cat-like. She removed her hat, which freed her rebellious fringe to fall over her eyes once more, and spoke in a much-less affected tone, "Well, that was interesting."
"That's not the word I'd use," Jamie grumbled. His cramped muscles were causing him to have flashbacks of the time he was forced to infiltrate in Salamander's guards and stand at attention like an idiot for hours on end. "I dinnae understand why we have to pretend to be officers."
The Time Lord patted her companion's arm affectionately. "I'm afraid I wasn't very convincing the first time I was here. Hopefully by showing up in full uniform, things will be different."
"And where did you get these uniforms, anyway?"
"Oh." She frowned. "A long time ago, I got involved in an incident with the Sea Devils. 2023, I think... Anyway, at one point a group of UNIT officers had to disguise themselves and left behind their uniforms. Mel must have taken them inside the TARDIS for safekeeping."
"Did they not come back for them?"
The Doctor looked sadly at him, but said nothing. Jamie understood what this silence meant, and nodded grimly.
"It's you," Radar finally said, in an awed whisper. The two time travellers jerked and turned to him in surprise, as they had completely forgotten that the young clerk was there with them.
"Hello, Radar," the Doctor said with a smile.
"It's you, ain't it, sir?" the boy asked again. "The Doctor?"
"Yes, Radar," she confirmed, "but you'd better call me Major now. Remember how confusing it got last time?"
"Oh, yes, sir. I mean, ma'am."
The Doctor smiled. "I'm not very comfortable with the deference, but I won't complain if you call me 'sir'. I'm not as fussy as Major Houlihan."
"Why not just call you 'Doctor'?" Jamie asked.
"Too many Doctors here, sir," Radar answered. "It's a hospital."
"It's not 'sir'," Jamie corrected. "My name is Jamie."
"Oh yes, I almost forgot," the Doctor said. "Jamie McCrimmon, this is Walter O'Reilly," she introduced them, "but please call him Radar."
"Radar?"
"Folks around here call me Radar 'cos uh... sometimes I can tell what's gonna happen before it happens," Radar said, giving an embarrassed chuckle as he shook Jamie's hand.
"You mean the second sight?" Jamie recoiled slightly: even after all he had learned from his travels with the Doctor, and all the scepticism that had remained in his mind during those two years he had lived with his memory erased, the thought of someone possessing the second sight still troubled him.
"Nothing of the sort," the Doctor reassured her companion. "Just extra-sensorial perception, with some mild telepathy."
"Oh aye, that," Jamie said automatically, knowing that he would not get a simpler answer from the Doctor.
"Anyway," the Doctor continued, grabbing Radar's arm, "you were going to show us to our quarters, I believe."
"Oh, yes, sir," Radar said with a start. "Gee, I almost forgot. Er... you'll be staying in the VIP tent."
"Very well. And Jamie?"
"Um... The Swamp."
"Oh dear." The Doctor's lips trembled, as she tried to hide a smile.
"Eh? What's that?" Jamie asked.
"That's where our surgeons sleep, sir," Radar said. "The other tents are taken, and with Major Burns now having a place of his own, there's an extra cot in there. You'll be staying with Captains Pierce and Hunnicutt."
The Doctor was surprised at this. "Hunnicutt? What happened to Trapper?"
"He's gone stateside," Radar answered, "about a week ago. Captain Hunnicutt is his replacement."
"I see." The Doctor sighed. "It's a shame. I quite liked Trapper, he was a funny man. Did Colonel Blake return home as well?"
Radar became sombre. "The Colonel..." He hesitated. "The Colonel died a few weeks ago."
The Doctor released Radar's arm, and put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry," she said. "He was a good man."
"Yeah," the young clerk said in a sad whisper, as he wiped a tear from his eye. With a heavy sigh, he looked at the two time-travellers and asked, "Shall we go, then?"
They exited Radar's office and stepped outside. Jamie thought of the medical unit in the moonbase, where he and Polly had been attacked by a Cyberman, and of the pristine white military hospital where Jamie had stayed when he suffered a gunshot wound. It was inconceivable that this hodge-podge of tents and sheds, all of them made of dirty canvas, nets, rotten wood and dirt and located in an arid and miserable-looking field, could be compared to those two places. This looked more like the way he had imagined the Jacobite prison in Inverness to be, rather than a hospital. And yet, he could see the red cross he had associated with those places here and there, and some of the people walking by had the white coats worn by the doctors that had treated him in the past (or was that the future?).
"Where did you leave your..." Radar hesitated, as if unsure of what to call the TARDIS, "your transportation, Doctor?"
"It's in yon big tent," Jamie said, pointing.
"The supply tent," the Doctor added for Jamie's benefit. "It's in a big empty corner right at the back. Jamie and I covered it with a tarpaulin, and stacked a couple of boxes in front, so I'm sure that the place's regular... visitors," she gave a mischievous smile, "will hardly notice it."
They passed by a tent marked "Showers," when a small girl, who seemed to be about Victoria's age and wearing a large dress that looked like a small pink tent, walked by them. "Hi, Radar," she said to the young clerk with a smile.
"Hiya, Hye," Radar returned. Jamie couldn't help but notice that the young man's hands instinctively went for his head, as if to protect himself with the clipboard he was holding. The girl also noticed this, and giggled. Once she passed by them, Jamie turned around and saw that she was dragging a large bat, its tip trailing a deep line in the dirt.
"What was that?" the Doctor asked, clearly intrigued.
"Oh, that's Hye," Radar said. "One of Rosie's girls."
"You know that's not what I meant," the Doctor said. "I was asking why you covered your head when you saw her."
"Oh, that." Radar was obviously embarrassed. "Well, Major Houlihan is paying some of the local girls to guard the nurses' showers. Gave them baseball bats and everything. She says they're doing it at the 8063rd, so why can't we?"
"Why should they guard the showers?" Jamie asked, surprised.
"Because of the hole in the tent." Radar gave another nervous chuckle.
"Eh?"
The Doctor smiled mischievously again. "I'll explain later, Jamie." She looked at Radar again. "Let me guess. Your little friend caught you, didn't she?"
"Yeah." He noticed her smile, and his eyes bulged. "I was fixing the hole!"
"Of course you were, my dear," she said, still smiling, and they kept on walking.
***
Hawkeye Pierce was impressed with how quickly his new bunkmate, BJ Hunnicutt, had adjusted to life at the 4077th in only one week. Granted, he still hadn't managed the actual surgery part, as his emotions still overcame him whenever he took a look at the type of wounds they had to work with, but he was doing quite well when it came to drinking himself to a stupor or plotting against Ferret Face's authority. Occasionally, Hawkeye caught him saluting at Frank or rising from his chair whenever Hot Lips entered in the mess tent, but those were small, unfortunate relapses into decency. Very soon, he would become numb enough to handle the O.R., and insane enough to battle the ugly reality around them.
Right now, the two captains were sitting outside the Swamp, trying to reach said numbness by playing checkers - Trapper's version of checkers, that is, which was played with shot glasses. The game was going rather badly for Hawkeye, who was still quite sober, as BJ had so far been the only one who had succeeded in drinking a few captured pieces.
"This stinks," Hawkeye complained. "When did you get so good at this?"
"Do I sense a sore loser?" BJ said, as he downed another shot.
"You told me you were terrible at checkers!"
"No, I said I was terribly good," the younger captain retorted.
Hawkeye was about make a comment, but the most amazing sight silenced him.
A woman.
She wasn't exactly the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. In fact, she was rather short (making Radar, who seemed to be escorting her, look tall in comparison) and a bit too flat-chested for his liking. However, her elfin features seemed to have something alluring, timeless, which he just couldn't define. Or maybe it was just the fact that she was an unknown creature of the female persuasion (his favorite kind of creature) that was so alluring, rather than her features. Either way, he had to meet her.
"'Ello, 'ello, 'ello," he said with a grin.
"What?" BJ asked, without looking up.
"What do you mean, 'what'? Don't you see that... that goddess over there?"
BJ's eyes finally left the board, and he looked around, clearly pretending not to notice exactly where his friend was pointing at. "Not really."
"You know, sometimes I worry about you. I just hope your illness is not contagious."
"What illness?"
"That happy marriage that makes you oblivious to any good-looking girl around you."
BJ smiled broadly. "I don't know if it's contagious or not," he said, "but I hope they'll never find a cure."
Hawkeye rolled his eyes exaggeratedly, as he stood up. "If you excuse me, I'll need to get myself acquainted. Don't drink my checkers while I'm gone."
He practically flew towards the goddess. "Hello, there." Experience had told him that the best approach was to start with a simple, cheerful greeting.
"Uh, sir..." Radar was about to start, when Hawkeye interrupted.
"Not now, Radar. I'm a bit busy here." He gave the goddess his most charming smile. "I don't think we know each other. I'm..."
"Hawkeye Pierce," the woman said, with the most delightful English accent.
"You know me, then?"
"Yes, sir," Radar was about to start. "She's the-"
"Your fame precedes you," the woman interrupted. "I'm Major Smith. UNIT."
"UNIT?" Hawkeye was taken by surprise. "Do we have little green blobs running around again?"
"I don't know yet. We've just arrived."
"Little green blobs?" a concerned Scottish accent interrupted. It was then that Hawkeye realized that the woman was not alone. This boy, who seemed to be around Radar's age and wearing the same type of beige uniform as his goddess, had decided to make his presence known.
"Rutans," the woman explained. "Nasty creatures. Although," she said turning to Hawkeye, "there was only one here. It did enough damage, though."
"You're well informed."
"Colonel Smith's report was most thorough. It's almost as if I'd been here myself." She shot a curious look at the two boys; Radar still looked confused, but their companion nodded.
"Well," Hawkeye said, "whatever Colonel Smith wrote, those were all lies." He then got closer to the woman. She was so short that he had to lean for his lips to reach her ear - which, he couldn't help but notice, made her junior officer growl. "Unless you want them to be true."
"I have something else to do, thank you," she said with a smile, taking a step backwards and tapping the boy's arm. "Come along, Jamie."
The three of them resumed their walk, the Major without glancing back, this Jamie person giving him an outraged glare, Radar shrugging philosophically.
"Rejected, were you?" he heard BJ's amused voice by the checkers board.
"Not really," he said with some bemusement. He returned to the board and sat down.
"Then what do you call it?"
"A challenge."
***
Shortly after the Captain had virtually thrown himself at the Doctor's feet, they reached the VIP tent, where the Doctor was to stay. In spite of its name, it was actually more like a shed than a tent, since it seemed to be made mostly of wood, and it looked as spartan as any of the houses in the small community set up by the crew of the Annabelle in northern France; very dark and miserable-looking, it had only a cot, a small wardrobe, a rudimentary table and a chair, which the Doctor promptly occupied. Radar left in search of some fatigues for the time-travellers, since they carried no luggage, and the Doctor felt that it would be better to blend in by adopting the same casual style as the staff.
"Doctor, what are those Rutans you mentioned just now?" Jamie asked, as he sat on the cot.
"Just what Captain Pierce said, Jamie: little green blobs," she said. "Amphibious metamorphs, who can assume the shape of other species, and have the ability to release electrical discharges. The last time I was here, a Rutan vessel had crashed in Ouijongbou - that's the nearby village - and the ship's sole survivor started to attack anybody that crossed her path."
"But you managed to stop her, did you not, Doctor?"
The Doctor looked up, at a hole in the roof, and frowned, before turning her attention back to Jamie. "Luckily, I had had a similar experience a long time before when I visited a lighthouse - things were rather nasty back then, but the incident gave me the knowledge that allowed me to act faster last time."
"But if you had solved the problem, why are we here now?"
The Doctor leaned closer to Jamie. "I found the remains of the Rutan vessel. It was a cargo ship, carrying weapons. I destroyed them, as well as any physical sign of its presence that I was able to find, by the way," she added. "Anyway, with a cargo this valuable to a warrior race, I had the feeling the Rutan queen might send scouts in search of the ship to recover the weapons, so I gave Radar a small adapting device that would allow him to contact me if something out of the ordinary happened."
"I take it that something did happen, then."
"It looks like it, Jamie. But whatever it is, I have the feeling it's not the Rutan scouts."
"How d'you figure?"
"Because Major Houlihan would have told us straight away if that had been the case. She and Radar are the only two people in the camp who know there's no such thing as UNIT-"
"What d'you mean?" Jamie interrupted, surprised. "There is a UNIT! We've met them."
"This is the early 1950s, Jamie. UNIT will only be created after that business with the Yeti in London, and that's going to be in some twenty years' time." She paused, thinking. "Or was that thirty years? Oh, never mind." She shook her head, and continued. "Anyway, as I was saying, Major Houlihan and Radar are the only two people in this place who know we're not who we say we are, and have been covering up for us to avoid unnecessary questions. However, everybody who was already here a year ago knows about the Rutan, even if they don't know of its alien origin, and since 'UNIT' solved the problem last time, it would be obvious that this would be the reason they'd come back."
"So what d'you reckon the trouble is this time?"
"I don't know." She crossed her arms, looking contemplative. "But I have this suspicion, and I really don't like it."
"What?"
Before the Doctor could answer, someone knocked at the door.
"Come in," the Doctor resumed the haughty tone she had used in Burns' office, while Jamie automatically stood up. The door opened, and Major Houlihan came in.
"Major Smith," she said.
"Major Houlihan," the Doctor replied.
"I'm sorry I kept you waiting."
"Not at all. I was explaining to Jamie here what had happened last time." She nodded at the Highlander, who promptly sat back down.
"So you were told about it?"
"Told?" Jamie was about to start. "The Doctor-" He stopped, as the Doctor gave him a painful kick.
"What Jamie was about to say is that the Doctor described the situation to me in extreme detail. I feel as if I had been here myself." She turned her face away from Houlihan, and glared meaningfully at Jamie, who scowled and rubbed his shin.
"Oh, I see," said the Major.
Jamie was a bit annoyed for the kick, but said nothing. As he heard the Doctor treat her past regeneration as a different person, he realized why she had tried to shut him up, as Major Houlihan might have known about the existence of aliens, but it was probably not the best moment to explain the regeneration process.
"Anyway, what made you call us, this time? I have the feeling it's not related to our past visit."
"No, thank heavens, it's not," the Major said. "I just found... something last night, and I think it's your sort of thing. I have no idea how to explain this to I-Corps."
"And so you called the Doctor for him to take care of it," Jamie said.
"Yes." Major Houlihan lowered her eyes. "I can't say I like the idea of getting the assistance of civilians, but I couldn't think of any other alternative."
"Say no more, Major," the Doctor said with a nod. "Could you please show us what you found?"
"Of course. Follow me."
The two time travellers stood up and followed the Major outside.
This time the journey was made in reverse, passing the sleeping quarters and past the building that lodged the C.O.'s office and what the Doctor had told Jamie when they arrived was the Operating Room. They eventually reached a small, frail-looking building, which was once again made of a combination of materials.
"What is this place?" Jamie asked.
"I don't know," the Doctor replied. "I didn't even know this existed."
"It's our morgue," the Major replied. "It's very rarely used because nine times out of ten the dead are sent straight to the 123rd EVAC in the ambulances they came with. A good thing, too, since during the summer it's very difficult to maintain the necessary conditions for this place to be functional."
A morgue? Jamie shivered. He didn't like the sound of this.
"So you've found a body," the Doctor said. "And I presume, from your reaction, that it's not human."
"Not unless the Chinese are doing experiments on their POWs," the blonde said, grimly.
The place was empty, save for a few slabs. Only the last one was occupied, by a short form obscured by a sheet covered with green stains.
"This looks more like a crypt than a morgue," the Doctor commented.
"It's not easy to find adequate resources, in our situation," the Major said defensively.
They approached the slab. With some hesitation, Major Houlihan lifted the sheet.
"This is what I found last night."
Jamie felt his blood freeze in his veins. The body underneath the sheet had been savagely torn apart, but the shape of the skull and the texture of the thick green blood oozing from it were jarringly familiar to him.
"Oh my," the Doctor said, in a worried tone. "This is just as I feared."
"Do you know what it is, then?" the Major asked.
"I'm afraid so. This is a Sontaran."
Author: Me
Beta-Reader:
alouzonFandom: Doctor Who/M*A*S*H
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 3279
Disclaimer: Doctor Who and all its characters belong to the BBC; M*A*S*H and all its characters belong to Twentieth Century Fox. I own nothing - not even the Fourteenth Doctor.
Summary: The Doctor returns to a place he has visited in the past to stop some old enemies from recovering something that is best left forgotten.
Warning: Spoilers for Abyssinia, Henry/Welcome to Korea.
The moment they stepped out of the C.O.'s office and into the space reserved for the clerk, the composure of the two "UNIT officers" changed. Jamie immediately loosened his collar, abandoning the rigid pose he had adopted during the conversation with the two Majors, while the Doctor stretched, cat-like. She removed her hat, which freed her rebellious fringe to fall over her eyes once more, and spoke in a much-less affected tone, "Well, that was interesting."
"That's not the word I'd use," Jamie grumbled. His cramped muscles were causing him to have flashbacks of the time he was forced to infiltrate in Salamander's guards and stand at attention like an idiot for hours on end. "I dinnae understand why we have to pretend to be officers."
The Time Lord patted her companion's arm affectionately. "I'm afraid I wasn't very convincing the first time I was here. Hopefully by showing up in full uniform, things will be different."
"And where did you get these uniforms, anyway?"
"Oh." She frowned. "A long time ago, I got involved in an incident with the Sea Devils. 2023, I think... Anyway, at one point a group of UNIT officers had to disguise themselves and left behind their uniforms. Mel must have taken them inside the TARDIS for safekeeping."
"Did they not come back for them?"
The Doctor looked sadly at him, but said nothing. Jamie understood what this silence meant, and nodded grimly.
"It's you," Radar finally said, in an awed whisper. The two time travellers jerked and turned to him in surprise, as they had completely forgotten that the young clerk was there with them.
"Hello, Radar," the Doctor said with a smile.
"It's you, ain't it, sir?" the boy asked again. "The Doctor?"
"Yes, Radar," she confirmed, "but you'd better call me Major now. Remember how confusing it got last time?"
"Oh, yes, sir. I mean, ma'am."
The Doctor smiled. "I'm not very comfortable with the deference, but I won't complain if you call me 'sir'. I'm not as fussy as Major Houlihan."
"Why not just call you 'Doctor'?" Jamie asked.
"Too many Doctors here, sir," Radar answered. "It's a hospital."
"It's not 'sir'," Jamie corrected. "My name is Jamie."
"Oh yes, I almost forgot," the Doctor said. "Jamie McCrimmon, this is Walter O'Reilly," she introduced them, "but please call him Radar."
"Radar?"
"Folks around here call me Radar 'cos uh... sometimes I can tell what's gonna happen before it happens," Radar said, giving an embarrassed chuckle as he shook Jamie's hand.
"You mean the second sight?" Jamie recoiled slightly: even after all he had learned from his travels with the Doctor, and all the scepticism that had remained in his mind during those two years he had lived with his memory erased, the thought of someone possessing the second sight still troubled him.
"Nothing of the sort," the Doctor reassured her companion. "Just extra-sensorial perception, with some mild telepathy."
"Oh aye, that," Jamie said automatically, knowing that he would not get a simpler answer from the Doctor.
"Anyway," the Doctor continued, grabbing Radar's arm, "you were going to show us to our quarters, I believe."
"Oh, yes, sir," Radar said with a start. "Gee, I almost forgot. Er... you'll be staying in the VIP tent."
"Very well. And Jamie?"
"Um... The Swamp."
"Oh dear." The Doctor's lips trembled, as she tried to hide a smile.
"Eh? What's that?" Jamie asked.
"That's where our surgeons sleep, sir," Radar said. "The other tents are taken, and with Major Burns now having a place of his own, there's an extra cot in there. You'll be staying with Captains Pierce and Hunnicutt."
The Doctor was surprised at this. "Hunnicutt? What happened to Trapper?"
"He's gone stateside," Radar answered, "about a week ago. Captain Hunnicutt is his replacement."
"I see." The Doctor sighed. "It's a shame. I quite liked Trapper, he was a funny man. Did Colonel Blake return home as well?"
Radar became sombre. "The Colonel..." He hesitated. "The Colonel died a few weeks ago."
The Doctor released Radar's arm, and put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "I'm sorry," she said. "He was a good man."
"Yeah," the young clerk said in a sad whisper, as he wiped a tear from his eye. With a heavy sigh, he looked at the two time-travellers and asked, "Shall we go, then?"
They exited Radar's office and stepped outside. Jamie thought of the medical unit in the moonbase, where he and Polly had been attacked by a Cyberman, and of the pristine white military hospital where Jamie had stayed when he suffered a gunshot wound. It was inconceivable that this hodge-podge of tents and sheds, all of them made of dirty canvas, nets, rotten wood and dirt and located in an arid and miserable-looking field, could be compared to those two places. This looked more like the way he had imagined the Jacobite prison in Inverness to be, rather than a hospital. And yet, he could see the red cross he had associated with those places here and there, and some of the people walking by had the white coats worn by the doctors that had treated him in the past (or was that the future?).
"Where did you leave your..." Radar hesitated, as if unsure of what to call the TARDIS, "your transportation, Doctor?"
"It's in yon big tent," Jamie said, pointing.
"The supply tent," the Doctor added for Jamie's benefit. "It's in a big empty corner right at the back. Jamie and I covered it with a tarpaulin, and stacked a couple of boxes in front, so I'm sure that the place's regular... visitors," she gave a mischievous smile, "will hardly notice it."
They passed by a tent marked "Showers," when a small girl, who seemed to be about Victoria's age and wearing a large dress that looked like a small pink tent, walked by them. "Hi, Radar," she said to the young clerk with a smile.
"Hiya, Hye," Radar returned. Jamie couldn't help but notice that the young man's hands instinctively went for his head, as if to protect himself with the clipboard he was holding. The girl also noticed this, and giggled. Once she passed by them, Jamie turned around and saw that she was dragging a large bat, its tip trailing a deep line in the dirt.
"What was that?" the Doctor asked, clearly intrigued.
"Oh, that's Hye," Radar said. "One of Rosie's girls."
"You know that's not what I meant," the Doctor said. "I was asking why you covered your head when you saw her."
"Oh, that." Radar was obviously embarrassed. "Well, Major Houlihan is paying some of the local girls to guard the nurses' showers. Gave them baseball bats and everything. She says they're doing it at the 8063rd, so why can't we?"
"Why should they guard the showers?" Jamie asked, surprised.
"Because of the hole in the tent." Radar gave another nervous chuckle.
"Eh?"
The Doctor smiled mischievously again. "I'll explain later, Jamie." She looked at Radar again. "Let me guess. Your little friend caught you, didn't she?"
"Yeah." He noticed her smile, and his eyes bulged. "I was fixing the hole!"
"Of course you were, my dear," she said, still smiling, and they kept on walking.
Hawkeye Pierce was impressed with how quickly his new bunkmate, BJ Hunnicutt, had adjusted to life at the 4077th in only one week. Granted, he still hadn't managed the actual surgery part, as his emotions still overcame him whenever he took a look at the type of wounds they had to work with, but he was doing quite well when it came to drinking himself to a stupor or plotting against Ferret Face's authority. Occasionally, Hawkeye caught him saluting at Frank or rising from his chair whenever Hot Lips entered in the mess tent, but those were small, unfortunate relapses into decency. Very soon, he would become numb enough to handle the O.R., and insane enough to battle the ugly reality around them.
Right now, the two captains were sitting outside the Swamp, trying to reach said numbness by playing checkers - Trapper's version of checkers, that is, which was played with shot glasses. The game was going rather badly for Hawkeye, who was still quite sober, as BJ had so far been the only one who had succeeded in drinking a few captured pieces.
"This stinks," Hawkeye complained. "When did you get so good at this?"
"Do I sense a sore loser?" BJ said, as he downed another shot.
"You told me you were terrible at checkers!"
"No, I said I was terribly good," the younger captain retorted.
Hawkeye was about make a comment, but the most amazing sight silenced him.
A woman.
She wasn't exactly the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. In fact, she was rather short (making Radar, who seemed to be escorting her, look tall in comparison) and a bit too flat-chested for his liking. However, her elfin features seemed to have something alluring, timeless, which he just couldn't define. Or maybe it was just the fact that she was an unknown creature of the female persuasion (his favorite kind of creature) that was so alluring, rather than her features. Either way, he had to meet her.
"'Ello, 'ello, 'ello," he said with a grin.
"What?" BJ asked, without looking up.
"What do you mean, 'what'? Don't you see that... that goddess over there?"
BJ's eyes finally left the board, and he looked around, clearly pretending not to notice exactly where his friend was pointing at. "Not really."
"You know, sometimes I worry about you. I just hope your illness is not contagious."
"What illness?"
"That happy marriage that makes you oblivious to any good-looking girl around you."
BJ smiled broadly. "I don't know if it's contagious or not," he said, "but I hope they'll never find a cure."
Hawkeye rolled his eyes exaggeratedly, as he stood up. "If you excuse me, I'll need to get myself acquainted. Don't drink my checkers while I'm gone."
He practically flew towards the goddess. "Hello, there." Experience had told him that the best approach was to start with a simple, cheerful greeting.
"Uh, sir..." Radar was about to start, when Hawkeye interrupted.
"Not now, Radar. I'm a bit busy here." He gave the goddess his most charming smile. "I don't think we know each other. I'm..."
"Hawkeye Pierce," the woman said, with the most delightful English accent.
"You know me, then?"
"Yes, sir," Radar was about to start. "She's the-"
"Your fame precedes you," the woman interrupted. "I'm Major Smith. UNIT."
"UNIT?" Hawkeye was taken by surprise. "Do we have little green blobs running around again?"
"I don't know yet. We've just arrived."
"Little green blobs?" a concerned Scottish accent interrupted. It was then that Hawkeye realized that the woman was not alone. This boy, who seemed to be around Radar's age and wearing the same type of beige uniform as his goddess, had decided to make his presence known.
"Rutans," the woman explained. "Nasty creatures. Although," she said turning to Hawkeye, "there was only one here. It did enough damage, though."
"You're well informed."
"Colonel Smith's report was most thorough. It's almost as if I'd been here myself." She shot a curious look at the two boys; Radar still looked confused, but their companion nodded.
"Well," Hawkeye said, "whatever Colonel Smith wrote, those were all lies." He then got closer to the woman. She was so short that he had to lean for his lips to reach her ear - which, he couldn't help but notice, made her junior officer growl. "Unless you want them to be true."
"I have something else to do, thank you," she said with a smile, taking a step backwards and tapping the boy's arm. "Come along, Jamie."
The three of them resumed their walk, the Major without glancing back, this Jamie person giving him an outraged glare, Radar shrugging philosophically.
"Rejected, were you?" he heard BJ's amused voice by the checkers board.
"Not really," he said with some bemusement. He returned to the board and sat down.
"Then what do you call it?"
"A challenge."
Shortly after the Captain had virtually thrown himself at the Doctor's feet, they reached the VIP tent, where the Doctor was to stay. In spite of its name, it was actually more like a shed than a tent, since it seemed to be made mostly of wood, and it looked as spartan as any of the houses in the small community set up by the crew of the Annabelle in northern France; very dark and miserable-looking, it had only a cot, a small wardrobe, a rudimentary table and a chair, which the Doctor promptly occupied. Radar left in search of some fatigues for the time-travellers, since they carried no luggage, and the Doctor felt that it would be better to blend in by adopting the same casual style as the staff.
"Doctor, what are those Rutans you mentioned just now?" Jamie asked, as he sat on the cot.
"Just what Captain Pierce said, Jamie: little green blobs," she said. "Amphibious metamorphs, who can assume the shape of other species, and have the ability to release electrical discharges. The last time I was here, a Rutan vessel had crashed in Ouijongbou - that's the nearby village - and the ship's sole survivor started to attack anybody that crossed her path."
"But you managed to stop her, did you not, Doctor?"
The Doctor looked up, at a hole in the roof, and frowned, before turning her attention back to Jamie. "Luckily, I had had a similar experience a long time before when I visited a lighthouse - things were rather nasty back then, but the incident gave me the knowledge that allowed me to act faster last time."
"But if you had solved the problem, why are we here now?"
The Doctor leaned closer to Jamie. "I found the remains of the Rutan vessel. It was a cargo ship, carrying weapons. I destroyed them, as well as any physical sign of its presence that I was able to find, by the way," she added. "Anyway, with a cargo this valuable to a warrior race, I had the feeling the Rutan queen might send scouts in search of the ship to recover the weapons, so I gave Radar a small adapting device that would allow him to contact me if something out of the ordinary happened."
"I take it that something did happen, then."
"It looks like it, Jamie. But whatever it is, I have the feeling it's not the Rutan scouts."
"How d'you figure?"
"Because Major Houlihan would have told us straight away if that had been the case. She and Radar are the only two people in the camp who know there's no such thing as UNIT-"
"What d'you mean?" Jamie interrupted, surprised. "There is a UNIT! We've met them."
"This is the early 1950s, Jamie. UNIT will only be created after that business with the Yeti in London, and that's going to be in some twenty years' time." She paused, thinking. "Or was that thirty years? Oh, never mind." She shook her head, and continued. "Anyway, as I was saying, Major Houlihan and Radar are the only two people in this place who know we're not who we say we are, and have been covering up for us to avoid unnecessary questions. However, everybody who was already here a year ago knows about the Rutan, even if they don't know of its alien origin, and since 'UNIT' solved the problem last time, it would be obvious that this would be the reason they'd come back."
"So what d'you reckon the trouble is this time?"
"I don't know." She crossed her arms, looking contemplative. "But I have this suspicion, and I really don't like it."
"What?"
Before the Doctor could answer, someone knocked at the door.
"Come in," the Doctor resumed the haughty tone she had used in Burns' office, while Jamie automatically stood up. The door opened, and Major Houlihan came in.
"Major Smith," she said.
"Major Houlihan," the Doctor replied.
"I'm sorry I kept you waiting."
"Not at all. I was explaining to Jamie here what had happened last time." She nodded at the Highlander, who promptly sat back down.
"So you were told about it?"
"Told?" Jamie was about to start. "The Doctor-" He stopped, as the Doctor gave him a painful kick.
"What Jamie was about to say is that the Doctor described the situation to me in extreme detail. I feel as if I had been here myself." She turned her face away from Houlihan, and glared meaningfully at Jamie, who scowled and rubbed his shin.
"Oh, I see," said the Major.
Jamie was a bit annoyed for the kick, but said nothing. As he heard the Doctor treat her past regeneration as a different person, he realized why she had tried to shut him up, as Major Houlihan might have known about the existence of aliens, but it was probably not the best moment to explain the regeneration process.
"Anyway, what made you call us, this time? I have the feeling it's not related to our past visit."
"No, thank heavens, it's not," the Major said. "I just found... something last night, and I think it's your sort of thing. I have no idea how to explain this to I-Corps."
"And so you called the Doctor for him to take care of it," Jamie said.
"Yes." Major Houlihan lowered her eyes. "I can't say I like the idea of getting the assistance of civilians, but I couldn't think of any other alternative."
"Say no more, Major," the Doctor said with a nod. "Could you please show us what you found?"
"Of course. Follow me."
The two time travellers stood up and followed the Major outside.
This time the journey was made in reverse, passing the sleeping quarters and past the building that lodged the C.O.'s office and what the Doctor had told Jamie when they arrived was the Operating Room. They eventually reached a small, frail-looking building, which was once again made of a combination of materials.
"What is this place?" Jamie asked.
"I don't know," the Doctor replied. "I didn't even know this existed."
"It's our morgue," the Major replied. "It's very rarely used because nine times out of ten the dead are sent straight to the 123rd EVAC in the ambulances they came with. A good thing, too, since during the summer it's very difficult to maintain the necessary conditions for this place to be functional."
A morgue? Jamie shivered. He didn't like the sound of this.
"So you've found a body," the Doctor said. "And I presume, from your reaction, that it's not human."
"Not unless the Chinese are doing experiments on their POWs," the blonde said, grimly.
The place was empty, save for a few slabs. Only the last one was occupied, by a short form obscured by a sheet covered with green stains.
"This looks more like a crypt than a morgue," the Doctor commented.
"It's not easy to find adequate resources, in our situation," the Major said defensively.
They approached the slab. With some hesitation, Major Houlihan lifted the sheet.
"This is what I found last night."
Jamie felt his blood freeze in his veins. The body underneath the sheet had been savagely torn apart, but the shape of the skull and the texture of the thick green blood oozing from it were jarringly familiar to him.
"Oh my," the Doctor said, in a worried tone. "This is just as I feared."
"Do you know what it is, then?" the Major asked.
"I'm afraid so. This is a Sontaran."
