Entry tags:
FIC: The Rutan Relics - Chapter 4
Title: The Rutan Relics - Chapter 4
Author: Me
Beta-Reader:![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
alouzon
Fandom: Doctor Who/M*A*S*H
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2776
Disclaimer: Doctor Who and all its characters belong to the BBC; M*A*S*H and all its characters belong to Twentieth Century Fox. I own nothing - not even the Fourteenth Doctor.
Summary: The Doctor returns to a place he has visited in the past to stop some old enemies from recovering something that is best left forgotten.
Warning: Spoilers for Abyssinia, Henry/Welcome to Korea.
Chapter 4
"All right," Jamie said, pushing the Monk into the now empty C.O.'s office, "in here."
"All right, all right," he whined, "you don't have to shove."
"Trust me," the Doctor said, entering after them, "he's being much gentler than I would be."
"I do not doubt that," the Monk said, in an almost resigned tone. The Monk sat on the first chair he found, looking at the Doctor and her companion like a child that had been caught doing something naughty, now cringing and expecting punishment. The Doctor completed this tableau, her arms crossed, looking sternly at him as if she were his parent.
"Now, my dear Monk," she began, "What are you doing here?"
"Why shouldn't I be here?" he retorted, instantly on the defensive. "It's a free planet."
"I thought the Time Lords had made it quite clear that you were not to set foot on Earth again."
The Monk gave her a rat's grin. "And what can they do about it? A great many things have changed since the Time War, as you well know. Otherwise, I wouldn't be here."
Jamie looked uneasily at the Doctor. Because of what they had done to him and Zoe (and, now that the Doctor had told him all about it, Peri too), he wasn't terribly fond of the Time Lords - with one obvious exception, of course; this Monk didn't make him at all comfortable. The last time Jamie had been face to face with a Gallifreyian, it resulted in the botched theft of all his memories of the Doctor, and a painful, two-year personal hell, wondering if he was mad or possessed. The Monk did not seem to be a threat; he was almost pathetic compared to the other dangers Jamie had faced in his travels. But having only been recently reunited with the Doctor, he was reluctant to chance anything like that happening again.
It also did not help that he had very little information about what had happened to the Time Lords after he was forced to part company with the Doctor. During her recuperation, the Doctor had shown him photographs of her past selves and various companions. She mentioned Gallifrey and the Time War during that time, but she had been rather vague about it. Jamie was aware that Gallifrey had been destroyed in the war and that she (or rather, at that point, he) had been the only survivor.
However, Jamie got the impression from some of the rather cryptically told stories she mentioned regarding events which took place after the war, that she had learned this had not exactly been the case. And, sure enough, she was now reacting to the Monk's presence not with the understandable shock of discovering that someone she long believed dead was in fact very much alive, but with mere annoyance at his presence. The reference to the Time War, for instance, seemed to leave her strangely cold, as her only reaction was to narrow her eyes.
"You do remember that the Time Lords' sentence is upheld by other authorities, don't you?" she asked. "And I can always contact them."
The Monk's eyes widened, and Jamie swore he saw a glimpse of wild panic in them. "The Shadow Proclamation? You wouldn't."
"I would." She uncrossed her arms and produced one of the paper envelopes she had been using earlier; opening it, she removed the small earbud she had found at the alley where the Sontaran had been killed. "Look familiar?"
The Monk quickly adopted a blank expression. "Never seen it before in my life."
"Really?" the Doctor asked with a fake smile, practically waving it in front of his nose. "Are you sure? Look again."
"I have nothing to hide," he said, still looking blankly at her.
"Well, if that's the case..." She handed Jamie the earbud and, quick as a flash, grabbed the small pouch attached to the Monk's belt. "Then I suppose you don't mind if I have a look in here."
The panic returned to the Monk's eyes, and spread to his entire expression; he made a grab for the pouch. "Doctor, I must protest!"
"Must you?" the Doctor said, adopting her most innocent expression. "If you have nothing to hide, then there's no problem in me having a look to make sure, right?"
"But those are my personal possessions!" he protested feebly.
"Personal possessions?" Jamie said, in a mocking tone. "Call yourself a monk, d'you?"
"I am not really a monk," he said apologetically, like a great secret had been revealed. The young Scot rolled his eyes and snorted.
"Aye, we know that." Jamie looked at the Doctor. "What does he have in there, then?"
"Leave it," he insisted. "Those are my things!"
"A Pez dispenser," the Doctor said, ignoring him and removing something pink and blue from the pouch. "Some currency. Let's see..." She started to remove paper money and coins of different shape, size and colour, setting everything down on the desk as she rifled through the pouch. "Official army currency from this time... late 20th century Canadian dollars... Roman currency with Emperor Nero's effigy... Andromedan credits... Ooh, and what's this?" She produced a small white paper bag and looked inside. "Jelly babies!" she beamed. "How sweet of you, my dear." She handed Jamie the bag. "Want one?"
"No, thanks," the Highlander replied, with some impatience. "Is there naught else?"
"All in good time, Jamie, all in good time." She next produced an orange plastic thimble, a cube made of smaller cubes of different colours, and a small glass bottle filled with a green liquid. "Aha. Here it is."
She finally removed a tiny white box, which reminded Jamie of the little transistor radio that had been given to him by Tobias Vaughn, only this had different symbols and dials, and a forked black wire protruding from one side. "An MP3 player. Early 21st century." She lifted the dangling, forked end of the black wire - and, sure enough, one of the tips had an earbud just like the one they had found in the alley, while the other ended with a twist of bare copper. "How very curious, don't you agree?" she asked the Monk, with a predatory smile.
"Oh, all right. I was there," he finally relented. "But I had nothing to do with the Sontaran's death. We were engaged in a peaceful business transaction when we were attacked."
Jamie gave him a surprised look. "Transaction? With a Sontaran?"
"They can be quite reasonable, if the exchange benefits both parties," the Monk replied loftily.
"And what could you possibly have that would interest the Sontaran army?" the Doctor asked.
"Oh, just something I found in the village when my poor, damaged TARDIS," he gave a reproachful look at the Doctor, "ended up here."
"Oh, aye? And what is that?" Jamie insisted, impatience in his voice.
"Since your dear Doctor has been so keen in rummaging through my things," he said with a smug grin, "maybe she should see what else is inside my little bag of tricks."
The Doctor looked inside the pouch with a puzzled expression, before putting her hand inside once again. She removed a couple of small, black metal cylinders, letting out a small gasp of recognition the moment she saw them.
"Doctor?" Jamie asked. "What's that?"
"Rutan technology," she replied staring at them, "designed to increase the strength of the weapon they are attached to, and to neutralize any force field that it might come across." She looked at the Monk. "Where did you find these?"
"I got them from one of the villagers," he said, gloating over his find. "He found them about a year ago, in what I believe must have been the remains of a vessel. He, of course, thought that the vessel had been sent by demons, and that these would bring him luck. Holy relics, if you want to see it from a Christian perspective," he added with a nod to the young Highlander.
The Doctor and Jamie exchanged horrified looks. Eventually, the Doctor spoke. "You didn't hurt him in order to get these from him?"
"Of course not," the Monk replied. "I just told him he would have nothing but daughters if he kept them in his possession."
The Doctor was shocked. "You've done some rather stupid things before, but... gun trading? With Sontarans?"
"Necessity makes one desperate," the Monk said, in a matter-of-fact tone.
"What do you mean?" Jamie asked.
"I mean, my boy, that my TARDIS is broken..."
"Good," the Doctor said, but the Monk ignored her.
"...and since I have no wish to remain stranded in this terrible point of time and space, I must do whatever I can in order to get my hands on the necessary components to effect repairs."
The Doctor sighed. Jamie could tell that she wasn't happy with what she was about to say. "If I help you with the repairs, will you give up trying to sell these things?"
"I could be persuaded to give up my plans, yes," the Monk said, "but the problem, my dear Doctor, is I trust you about as much as you trust me."
"You have no problem with trusting Sontarans," Jamie remarked.
"Oh no, I do not trust them at all. I'm not stupid."
"That's debatable," the Doctor retorted. The Monk gave her an offended look. "So," she continued, "do we have a deal?"
But before the Monk could answer, the door to the office opened and Major Burns burst in. "All right," he said, "what's the meaning of this?"
"We are questioning a suspect, Major," the Doctor replied, assuming the pompous accent again.
"In my office?"
"I have commandeered the office, Major," the Doctor replied. "And since you have no clearance, I shall have to ask you to remain outside."
"Oh, Major, thank heavens you're here," the Monk said, rushing to the man's side. "There's been a terrible mistake."
The Major looked at the Monk's habit with a confused expression, finally realizing that the suspect in question was a man of the cloth. "What do you mean?"
"There is no mistake, I assure you, Major," the Doctor cut in, before the Monk could say anything else. "This person is known to us."
"No, no, that's not true," the Monk protested. "I-"
"Aye, he's not even a real monk," Jamie said disdainfully, as he firmly returned the Monk to his chair. At least the monks in Tibet had been genuine.
"What?" Astonishment mixed with the confusion on Major Burns' face. "Now, could someone please tell me what is going on here?"
"I'm sorry, Major, but that's classified. If you'll excuse me," The Doctor was about to turn her attention back to the Monk, her discussion with Burns clearly over, when the Major grabbed her shoulder in a very rude manner.
"Hey, take your hands off her," Jamie growled and took a menacing step forward, but the Doctor surreptitiously waved him back.
"You stay out of this, Rob Roy!" Major Burns turned to the Doctor again. "Now listen here: you and that Colonel that was here last time might think you're big shots because you're English, but I'll have you know that I'm the C.O. in this camp and I won't tolerate you challenging my authority. Now, I command-"
"You command?" The Doctor glared at the Major, but quickly changed the glare into a big smile, as she slowly removed his hand from her shoulder like it was a dead thing with which she didn't want to make contact. "Major, don't push your luck. Even if you did outrank me - which you don't - your authority over me would be limited, as is the case with anyone passing through here."
"But-" the Major was about to protest, but was once again interrupted.
"You might be the Commanding Officer in this outfit, but you're not the Commanding Officer of UNIT, and therefore not my Commanding Officer. That privilege belongs to a Brigadier, and it will be a cold day in hell before you even begin to measure up to him."
Jamie looked at the Doctor with surprise. He was still adjusting to the Doctor's new personality, but he never thought he'd see her act like this. This surprise soon faded, however, as she looked at him and winked before turning her attention back to the Major.
"Now, you'll be a good boy and let me do my job, and focus your energy instead on trying to get all the patients that can be moved and all the staff that can be spared, to some place as far away from here as possible until the crisis is over."
"But... but..." he spluttered.
"Otherwise, I'll make sure the right people will know you've been attempting to impose your authority on me, and you'll be busted back down to Private before you can manage to utter the word 'but' a fourth time. Is that understood?"
Major Burns spluttered and whimpered.
"Good boy." She waited for Burns to vacate the office before she looked at the Monk. "So, do we have a deal?"
The Monk remained silent, and the Doctor sighed. "Oh, come on, be reasonable."
"Where would you find the components I need?" he finally asked.
"I have more mobility than you," she said. "It won't be difficult to get my hands on them without getting them dirty through gun trading."
The Monk raised his hands, defeated. "Very well, we have a deal."
"Good. Come along, then."
The Monk approached the desktop where his now empty pouch and its contents lay, but Jamie was quicker and grabbed the cylinders before he did, placing them in his pocket. "I'll be taking those, if you dinnae mind."
With a clear look of disappointment on his face, the Monk glared at Jamie and placed the rest of the objects back in the pouch. Jamie was fascinated by the sheer volume of objects that were able to fit inside the tiny leather bag. It must be another Time Lord trick, making something bigger on the inside. Jamie shrugged. He could always ask the Doctor later, if he had the time for a lecture on the subject.
As Jamie opened the door to the clerk's office to allow the Doctor to exit, Burns tumbled into the office, an empty drinking glass still held pressed to his ear. He leapt to attention, brushing at his uniform and unsuccessfully trying to hide the glass, finally regaining the ability to speak. "Did you say... gun trading?" he asked casually.
"Never you mind, Major," the Doctor said with some amusement, as she patted his arm. "UNIT business, completely classified."
And with this, she left with the others.
***
After the two UNIT officers left with the monk, Frank Burns decided to vent his frustration at being humiliated by a woman through the signing and rubber stamping of the many documents O'Reilly had left waiting for him.
"Frank..." a feminine voice interrupted his vengeful train of thought.
"Not now, Margaret," he said, without raising his eyes from the papers, while trying to think of a way to give Major Smith an appendectomy without anesthetics and make it viable through army regulations.
"Frank... Frank, look at me."
Frank looked up, and the sight took his breath away. Margaret was wearing the silk kimono he had given her the previous Christmas, which was moving ethereally as if impelled by a strong breeze, as was her long hair.
"Margaret!" he said with a trace of panic, as he rose to meet her. "You're only meant to wear that K-I-M-O-N-O when we're A-L-O-N-E in your T-E-N-T."
"No one can see us."
"Are you kidding?" He looked around nervously. "Pierce and that Major Smith keep on walking in here as if they owned the place, and I swear that little fink O'Reilly is spying on us every second."
"Don't worry about that, my darling," Margaret said, with a big smile. "Come here, and I'll make all your troubles fade away."
With a giggle and a shrug, Frank got closer to her. Thank God I have Margaret, he thought. That woman was the only thing that made his life at the 4077th worth living. That, and his new position of power.
To his surprise, as he was about to embrace Margaret, she pointed a small red marble between his eyes, and it all turned into a blur. Suddenly, he felt as if he was a baby tightly wrapped up in a blanket, his eyes unable to focus.
"Phase two complete," he heard a strange, almost inhuman voice say; the sound seemed to come from the blurred shape of Margaret. "We have the leader."
Author: Me
Beta-Reader:
alouzonFandom: Doctor Who/M*A*S*H
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 2776
Disclaimer: Doctor Who and all its characters belong to the BBC; M*A*S*H and all its characters belong to Twentieth Century Fox. I own nothing - not even the Fourteenth Doctor.
Summary: The Doctor returns to a place he has visited in the past to stop some old enemies from recovering something that is best left forgotten.
Warning: Spoilers for Abyssinia, Henry/Welcome to Korea.
"All right," Jamie said, pushing the Monk into the now empty C.O.'s office, "in here."
"All right, all right," he whined, "you don't have to shove."
"Trust me," the Doctor said, entering after them, "he's being much gentler than I would be."
"I do not doubt that," the Monk said, in an almost resigned tone. The Monk sat on the first chair he found, looking at the Doctor and her companion like a child that had been caught doing something naughty, now cringing and expecting punishment. The Doctor completed this tableau, her arms crossed, looking sternly at him as if she were his parent.
"Now, my dear Monk," she began, "What are you doing here?"
"Why shouldn't I be here?" he retorted, instantly on the defensive. "It's a free planet."
"I thought the Time Lords had made it quite clear that you were not to set foot on Earth again."
The Monk gave her a rat's grin. "And what can they do about it? A great many things have changed since the Time War, as you well know. Otherwise, I wouldn't be here."
Jamie looked uneasily at the Doctor. Because of what they had done to him and Zoe (and, now that the Doctor had told him all about it, Peri too), he wasn't terribly fond of the Time Lords - with one obvious exception, of course; this Monk didn't make him at all comfortable. The last time Jamie had been face to face with a Gallifreyian, it resulted in the botched theft of all his memories of the Doctor, and a painful, two-year personal hell, wondering if he was mad or possessed. The Monk did not seem to be a threat; he was almost pathetic compared to the other dangers Jamie had faced in his travels. But having only been recently reunited with the Doctor, he was reluctant to chance anything like that happening again.
It also did not help that he had very little information about what had happened to the Time Lords after he was forced to part company with the Doctor. During her recuperation, the Doctor had shown him photographs of her past selves and various companions. She mentioned Gallifrey and the Time War during that time, but she had been rather vague about it. Jamie was aware that Gallifrey had been destroyed in the war and that she (or rather, at that point, he) had been the only survivor.
However, Jamie got the impression from some of the rather cryptically told stories she mentioned regarding events which took place after the war, that she had learned this had not exactly been the case. And, sure enough, she was now reacting to the Monk's presence not with the understandable shock of discovering that someone she long believed dead was in fact very much alive, but with mere annoyance at his presence. The reference to the Time War, for instance, seemed to leave her strangely cold, as her only reaction was to narrow her eyes.
"You do remember that the Time Lords' sentence is upheld by other authorities, don't you?" she asked. "And I can always contact them."
The Monk's eyes widened, and Jamie swore he saw a glimpse of wild panic in them. "The Shadow Proclamation? You wouldn't."
"I would." She uncrossed her arms and produced one of the paper envelopes she had been using earlier; opening it, she removed the small earbud she had found at the alley where the Sontaran had been killed. "Look familiar?"
The Monk quickly adopted a blank expression. "Never seen it before in my life."
"Really?" the Doctor asked with a fake smile, practically waving it in front of his nose. "Are you sure? Look again."
"I have nothing to hide," he said, still looking blankly at her.
"Well, if that's the case..." She handed Jamie the earbud and, quick as a flash, grabbed the small pouch attached to the Monk's belt. "Then I suppose you don't mind if I have a look in here."
The panic returned to the Monk's eyes, and spread to his entire expression; he made a grab for the pouch. "Doctor, I must protest!"
"Must you?" the Doctor said, adopting her most innocent expression. "If you have nothing to hide, then there's no problem in me having a look to make sure, right?"
"But those are my personal possessions!" he protested feebly.
"Personal possessions?" Jamie said, in a mocking tone. "Call yourself a monk, d'you?"
"I am not really a monk," he said apologetically, like a great secret had been revealed. The young Scot rolled his eyes and snorted.
"Aye, we know that." Jamie looked at the Doctor. "What does he have in there, then?"
"Leave it," he insisted. "Those are my things!"
"A Pez dispenser," the Doctor said, ignoring him and removing something pink and blue from the pouch. "Some currency. Let's see..." She started to remove paper money and coins of different shape, size and colour, setting everything down on the desk as she rifled through the pouch. "Official army currency from this time... late 20th century Canadian dollars... Roman currency with Emperor Nero's effigy... Andromedan credits... Ooh, and what's this?" She produced a small white paper bag and looked inside. "Jelly babies!" she beamed. "How sweet of you, my dear." She handed Jamie the bag. "Want one?"
"No, thanks," the Highlander replied, with some impatience. "Is there naught else?"
"All in good time, Jamie, all in good time." She next produced an orange plastic thimble, a cube made of smaller cubes of different colours, and a small glass bottle filled with a green liquid. "Aha. Here it is."
She finally removed a tiny white box, which reminded Jamie of the little transistor radio that had been given to him by Tobias Vaughn, only this had different symbols and dials, and a forked black wire protruding from one side. "An MP3 player. Early 21st century." She lifted the dangling, forked end of the black wire - and, sure enough, one of the tips had an earbud just like the one they had found in the alley, while the other ended with a twist of bare copper. "How very curious, don't you agree?" she asked the Monk, with a predatory smile.
"Oh, all right. I was there," he finally relented. "But I had nothing to do with the Sontaran's death. We were engaged in a peaceful business transaction when we were attacked."
Jamie gave him a surprised look. "Transaction? With a Sontaran?"
"They can be quite reasonable, if the exchange benefits both parties," the Monk replied loftily.
"And what could you possibly have that would interest the Sontaran army?" the Doctor asked.
"Oh, just something I found in the village when my poor, damaged TARDIS," he gave a reproachful look at the Doctor, "ended up here."
"Oh, aye? And what is that?" Jamie insisted, impatience in his voice.
"Since your dear Doctor has been so keen in rummaging through my things," he said with a smug grin, "maybe she should see what else is inside my little bag of tricks."
The Doctor looked inside the pouch with a puzzled expression, before putting her hand inside once again. She removed a couple of small, black metal cylinders, letting out a small gasp of recognition the moment she saw them.
"Doctor?" Jamie asked. "What's that?"
"Rutan technology," she replied staring at them, "designed to increase the strength of the weapon they are attached to, and to neutralize any force field that it might come across." She looked at the Monk. "Where did you find these?"
"I got them from one of the villagers," he said, gloating over his find. "He found them about a year ago, in what I believe must have been the remains of a vessel. He, of course, thought that the vessel had been sent by demons, and that these would bring him luck. Holy relics, if you want to see it from a Christian perspective," he added with a nod to the young Highlander.
The Doctor and Jamie exchanged horrified looks. Eventually, the Doctor spoke. "You didn't hurt him in order to get these from him?"
"Of course not," the Monk replied. "I just told him he would have nothing but daughters if he kept them in his possession."
The Doctor was shocked. "You've done some rather stupid things before, but... gun trading? With Sontarans?"
"Necessity makes one desperate," the Monk said, in a matter-of-fact tone.
"What do you mean?" Jamie asked.
"I mean, my boy, that my TARDIS is broken..."
"Good," the Doctor said, but the Monk ignored her.
"...and since I have no wish to remain stranded in this terrible point of time and space, I must do whatever I can in order to get my hands on the necessary components to effect repairs."
The Doctor sighed. Jamie could tell that she wasn't happy with what she was about to say. "If I help you with the repairs, will you give up trying to sell these things?"
"I could be persuaded to give up my plans, yes," the Monk said, "but the problem, my dear Doctor, is I trust you about as much as you trust me."
"You have no problem with trusting Sontarans," Jamie remarked.
"Oh no, I do not trust them at all. I'm not stupid."
"That's debatable," the Doctor retorted. The Monk gave her an offended look. "So," she continued, "do we have a deal?"
But before the Monk could answer, the door to the office opened and Major Burns burst in. "All right," he said, "what's the meaning of this?"
"We are questioning a suspect, Major," the Doctor replied, assuming the pompous accent again.
"In my office?"
"I have commandeered the office, Major," the Doctor replied. "And since you have no clearance, I shall have to ask you to remain outside."
"Oh, Major, thank heavens you're here," the Monk said, rushing to the man's side. "There's been a terrible mistake."
The Major looked at the Monk's habit with a confused expression, finally realizing that the suspect in question was a man of the cloth. "What do you mean?"
"There is no mistake, I assure you, Major," the Doctor cut in, before the Monk could say anything else. "This person is known to us."
"No, no, that's not true," the Monk protested. "I-"
"Aye, he's not even a real monk," Jamie said disdainfully, as he firmly returned the Monk to his chair. At least the monks in Tibet had been genuine.
"What?" Astonishment mixed with the confusion on Major Burns' face. "Now, could someone please tell me what is going on here?"
"I'm sorry, Major, but that's classified. If you'll excuse me," The Doctor was about to turn her attention back to the Monk, her discussion with Burns clearly over, when the Major grabbed her shoulder in a very rude manner.
"Hey, take your hands off her," Jamie growled and took a menacing step forward, but the Doctor surreptitiously waved him back.
"You stay out of this, Rob Roy!" Major Burns turned to the Doctor again. "Now listen here: you and that Colonel that was here last time might think you're big shots because you're English, but I'll have you know that I'm the C.O. in this camp and I won't tolerate you challenging my authority. Now, I command-"
"You command?" The Doctor glared at the Major, but quickly changed the glare into a big smile, as she slowly removed his hand from her shoulder like it was a dead thing with which she didn't want to make contact. "Major, don't push your luck. Even if you did outrank me - which you don't - your authority over me would be limited, as is the case with anyone passing through here."
"But-" the Major was about to protest, but was once again interrupted.
"You might be the Commanding Officer in this outfit, but you're not the Commanding Officer of UNIT, and therefore not my Commanding Officer. That privilege belongs to a Brigadier, and it will be a cold day in hell before you even begin to measure up to him."
Jamie looked at the Doctor with surprise. He was still adjusting to the Doctor's new personality, but he never thought he'd see her act like this. This surprise soon faded, however, as she looked at him and winked before turning her attention back to the Major.
"Now, you'll be a good boy and let me do my job, and focus your energy instead on trying to get all the patients that can be moved and all the staff that can be spared, to some place as far away from here as possible until the crisis is over."
"But... but..." he spluttered.
"Otherwise, I'll make sure the right people will know you've been attempting to impose your authority on me, and you'll be busted back down to Private before you can manage to utter the word 'but' a fourth time. Is that understood?"
Major Burns spluttered and whimpered.
"Good boy." She waited for Burns to vacate the office before she looked at the Monk. "So, do we have a deal?"
The Monk remained silent, and the Doctor sighed. "Oh, come on, be reasonable."
"Where would you find the components I need?" he finally asked.
"I have more mobility than you," she said. "It won't be difficult to get my hands on them without getting them dirty through gun trading."
The Monk raised his hands, defeated. "Very well, we have a deal."
"Good. Come along, then."
The Monk approached the desktop where his now empty pouch and its contents lay, but Jamie was quicker and grabbed the cylinders before he did, placing them in his pocket. "I'll be taking those, if you dinnae mind."
With a clear look of disappointment on his face, the Monk glared at Jamie and placed the rest of the objects back in the pouch. Jamie was fascinated by the sheer volume of objects that were able to fit inside the tiny leather bag. It must be another Time Lord trick, making something bigger on the inside. Jamie shrugged. He could always ask the Doctor later, if he had the time for a lecture on the subject.
As Jamie opened the door to the clerk's office to allow the Doctor to exit, Burns tumbled into the office, an empty drinking glass still held pressed to his ear. He leapt to attention, brushing at his uniform and unsuccessfully trying to hide the glass, finally regaining the ability to speak. "Did you say... gun trading?" he asked casually.
"Never you mind, Major," the Doctor said with some amusement, as she patted his arm. "UNIT business, completely classified."
And with this, she left with the others.
After the two UNIT officers left with the monk, Frank Burns decided to vent his frustration at being humiliated by a woman through the signing and rubber stamping of the many documents O'Reilly had left waiting for him.
"Frank..." a feminine voice interrupted his vengeful train of thought.
"Not now, Margaret," he said, without raising his eyes from the papers, while trying to think of a way to give Major Smith an appendectomy without anesthetics and make it viable through army regulations.
"Frank... Frank, look at me."
Frank looked up, and the sight took his breath away. Margaret was wearing the silk kimono he had given her the previous Christmas, which was moving ethereally as if impelled by a strong breeze, as was her long hair.
"Margaret!" he said with a trace of panic, as he rose to meet her. "You're only meant to wear that K-I-M-O-N-O when we're A-L-O-N-E in your T-E-N-T."
"No one can see us."
"Are you kidding?" He looked around nervously. "Pierce and that Major Smith keep on walking in here as if they owned the place, and I swear that little fink O'Reilly is spying on us every second."
"Don't worry about that, my darling," Margaret said, with a big smile. "Come here, and I'll make all your troubles fade away."
With a giggle and a shrug, Frank got closer to her. Thank God I have Margaret, he thought. That woman was the only thing that made his life at the 4077th worth living. That, and his new position of power.
To his surprise, as he was about to embrace Margaret, she pointed a small red marble between his eyes, and it all turned into a blur. Suddenly, he felt as if he was a baby tightly wrapped up in a blanket, his eyes unable to focus.
"Phase two complete," he heard a strange, almost inhuman voice say; the sound seemed to come from the blurred shape of Margaret. "We have the leader."