nentari: (Jo & Three)
[personal profile] nentari
Spam Headlines
(with comments by Lewis, editor of the Bizarrenews newsletter - all these spam mail headlines were found in his inbox)

  • Not a dating service, a SHAGGING service!
    [Just in case anybody was confused.]

  • Greetings, white man! :)
    [I never did figure out what this spam was for because I was afraid to click on the link to find out.]

  • I Hate You Now!
    [It turns out my current mortgage qualifies for a 3 percent lower rate!]

  • Et tu, brute! - You too, Brutus! Even you have betrayed me!
    [This linked to a page advertising generic pharmaceuticals. Explain that to me.]

  • PLEASE HELP THE ORPHANAGE
    [This was from a Zambian living in Dubai who had a large sum of money trapped in a bank account that he needed help moving to a U.S. bank. All he needed was my bank account number.]

  • Top Secret e-book on how to seduce a girl
    [It can't be that secret if everybody and his brother has gotten a copy of the email.]

  • Please dont ignore me......come see my nipples.
    [This was for a webcam, as you might imagine.]

  • Hello bro --- are you Impotent?
    [Great way to start a conversation. Once again... the subject is pretty self-explanatory.]

  • The mighty cucumber lives again!
    [This was for a penile anti-sensitivity cream.]

  • Slap it on her face.
    [If you guessed penis enlargement cream you're right again!]

  • Like being 18 again (without the zits)
    [This was for 'Advanced Penis Development.' Not sure if that means enlargement or longevity.]

  • Hot Mmomy fucks stranregs
    [I'm not sure what 'stranregs' are, but apparently they like to subscribe to online dating services.]

  • I'd like to meet the man who invented sex and see what he's working on now.
    [Answer: Erection pills.]

  • Are you a 2 pump chump? Go all night and drive her crazy!
    [I've never really counted, but I know it's more than 2.]

  • What's your pleasure, squire?
    [If you're thinking this is some kind of porn or penis enhancement, you're wrong! It's discount pharmaceuticals. Okay, it's mostly Viagra and Cialis.]

  • Make Your Bed a "Bed-er" SEX Place to Sleep
    [Somebody actually gets paid to sit around and think this stuff up.]

  • Believe it or not Glass Dildos can change your sex life!
    [Among the many qualitites touted in the ad copy are "Hypoallergenic and Dishwasher Safe."]
  • From:
    Anonymous( )Anonymous This account has disabled anonymous posting.
    OpenID( )OpenID You can comment on this post while signed in with an account from many other sites, once you have confirmed your email address. Sign in using OpenID.
    User
    Account name:
    Password:
    If you don't have an account you can create one now.
    Subject:
    HTML doesn't work in the subject.

    Message:

     
    Notice: This account is set to log the IP addresses of everyone who comments.
    Links will be displayed as unclickable URLs to help prevent spam.
    Page generated Jul. 22nd, 2017 12:45 am
    Powered by Dreamwidth Studios